


Trembling

by Holyangelheart



Series: Please Don't Go Where I Can't Follow [5]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holyangelheart/pseuds/Holyangelheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short drabble showing how Gon feels after Chapter One of Over My Dead Body. This is Inspired by Light Up – Thousand Foot Krutch. Part 5 of Please Don't Go Where I Can't Follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trembling

-x-x-  


These hands are shaking, trembling as I try to shout your name, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and I’m the one to blame. When I see you, my heart would start beating furiously in my chest as if I just ran a 200 meter dash just to see you at your best. But when you turn around, your eyes are ice cold and your mouth is in a tight line, why can’t I hear your voice?  


I thought I saw an angel today, but they flew right through me, because Killua…you were my angel and I’m just so sorry, can you forgive me?  


Now I’m waiting, waiting for a miracle, that one day you’ll knock on my door and come over to play just like we used to. Why won’t you call my name like you once did with so much emotion and value?  


I showed you a side of myself I didn’t know existed and now you’re gone and I’m so broken. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that, I thought you would punch me and kick me back. I thought you would pull me by my shirt and hold me after you forgave me, but once I turned around, I saw you leaving. I tried running after you, but how could I outrun a car with your brother Illumi? I shouted your name until my voice was coarse, thinking that you would turn around and see me. Even if you did, I wouldn’t know because no matter how far I ran, you never looked back.  


I’m so amazed by how much I needed you in my life, but I realized too late and now I’m the one paying the price. I’ve sent you a hundred messages just today alone, but it’s been two years since you left and I’m still here on my own. Can’t you at least turn off your phone? So that way I know that it’s really over and I can atone.  


These hands are shaking, trembling, and it’s so unsettling because I’ve called you a thousand times already and I can’t keep waiting. This is my last message Killua and if you don’t reply in time, I’m not settling for you. I never even got to tell you that I…I loved you and I still do.  


“Please reply before I have to say goodbye.”  


It took him an hour to finally type the whole thing out, but he erased it all, but the last line. After years of waiting, he finally had a message incoming. His eyes lit up with hope, but all it read was that Killua’s phone is now disconnected.  


I’m not waiting; these hands are shaking, trembling. I was lost before tonight, but not anymore because now I know how you really feel and I’m not yours.  


-x-x-


End file.
